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Stout, Alice Tonkens September 23, 1923 - August 5, 2021

Alice Tonkens Stout, age 97, of Contoocook, NH, died peacefully on August 5, 2021 due to complications from dementia. She was born on September 23, 1923 to Sybolt Tonkens and Alice Cashin on the family farm, Brookside Dairy, in Hackettstown, NJ. She married Bruce Carr Stout, her one and only love, in 1948. He preceded her in death in 1990.
Alice lived an idyllic life growing up on the farm, where she was taught the value of hard work and obtaining an education. Both of her parents emigrated to the United States – Alice from Ireland and Sybolt from the Netherlands – when they were seventeen years old. Because neither of them completed high school, they stressed their expectation that Alice and her sister excel in school and complete college. Alice graduated from Hackettstown High School as the class salutatorian when she was sixteen years old and attended the then Trenton State Teachers College to fulfill her dream of becoming an elementary school teacher.
Alice spent her entire teaching career in Hackettstown. She was beloved by her students and colleagues, many of whom shared with Alice’s family that her teaching and support made an indelible impact on their lives. During the early years of her career, Alice taught third grade. Later she taught remedial reading to middle schoolers and became chair of the school’s reading department. At the age of 53, while teaching fulltime, Alice obtained a master’s degree, an accomplishment that brought her great pride. Alice was recognized by the Governor of New Jersey and the Hackettstown Board of Education as one of the first teachers of excellence in the state, an honor that reflected her passion for her students and teaching.
In 1987, after her retirement, Alice and Bruce relocated from Hackettstown to Contoocook, NH to be closer to their daughter, Linda. Alice was quick to make new friends and enjoyed visits, walks, and meals out with them. For many years, Alice spent every Wednesday sharing lunch with other seniors at the Slusser Senior Center in Hopkinton, where she loved to socialize. Alice was an avid reader often finishing multiple books in a week. She loved cheeseburgers, chocolate, and Merlot. Most of all, Alice cherished time spent with her family.
In 2015, at the age of 92, Alice was diagnosed with dementia. With the support of her family and her extraordinary care provider, Mary Jo Lux, she remained in her home until 2019 when her need for care required round the clock support. Alice spent the past two years residing at Merrimack County Nursing Home, an outstanding long-term care facility, where she received the best of care from skilled, loving staff. She had a special place in her heart for Dawn Frew and Tara Turner. In March 2020, restrictions imposed due to the coronavirus pandemic required the nursing home to terminate private, in-person family visits. Sadly, Linda’s almost daily visits had to stop. Visits were limited to phone calls, Skype and, after May, occasional in-person 20-minute distanced, masked visits. Thankfully, contact family visits were permitted again in February 2021 so that Alice’s family had the gift of being able to hug her before her passing. Despite the drastic changes at Merrimack County Nursing Home during pandemic related restrictions, Alice’s good nature shone through. She never complained and was happy and content until her peaceful passing.​
Alice was predeceased by her husband, Bruce, and her sister, Mary Wilkinson. She leaves behind her adoring children Linda Saunders Paquette (Philip) of Contoocook, NH; Sandra Murray Koch
(Henry) of Old Orchard Beach, ME; and Bruce Carr Stout, Jr. (Ann) of Easton, PA. Nanny will be sorely missed by her grandchildren Martha Jacques (Jon); Sarah Murray (Signe); Arpiar Saunders (Nadine) and Alice Saunders (Greg). Alice was blessed with four great-grandchildren. She was affectionately known as G.G. to Grady O’Connor, Felix Saunders, Henning Saunders, and Tallulah Murray. Although our hearts are broken by Alice’s passing, her indomitable positive spirit and kind heart will live on in all of us.
A private, family celebration of Alice’s life will be held later in Hackettstown, NJ. Donations to support residents’ needs and activities may be made in her memory to the Edna McKenna Trust Fund, Merrimack County Nursing Home, 325 DW Highway, Boscawen, NH 03303. Please keep Alice’s memory alive by showing kindness to those around you.
For those wishing to leave online condolences, please visit www.cochranfuneral.com

Condolences(30)

  1. REPLY
    Cheryle Pacapelli says
    August 6, 2021 at 4:45 pm

    So very sorry about the passing Alice An. amazing teacher, mom, and GG. She will live on in your hearts and memories forever.

  2. REPLY
    Shelley Russack says
    August 6, 2021 at 8:41 pm

    Alice was one of the first people I met at the Hackettstown Middle School. She was a mentor to me as well as a good friend.
    She was beautiful both inside and out. It was my privilege to have known her.

    • Sandra Murray says
      August 7, 2021 at 9:44 pm

      Thank you, Shelley – Mom felt the same way about you!

    • Kathy Cannon says
      August 8, 2021 at 11:09 pm

      Dear Linda and Sandy,
      So sorry for your loss. I have many fond memories of your mom. She was a gracious and fun lady. Growing up, your home was always a warm and welcoming place. So glad I had the opportunity to know her.

    • Sandra Murray says
      August 17, 2021 at 11:55 am

      Hi Kathy-
      Thank you for your kind remembrance of Mom.
      She always enjoyed you,too, Hope all is well- Sandy

  3. REPLY
    Karen Arnold says
    August 6, 2021 at 10:56 pm

    Condolences to Alice’s family. I worked with Alice at Hackettstown Middle School having fondest memories of her. She was a wonderful woman always kind to everyone offering wise advice when needed. I will never forget this radiant women.

  4. REPLY
    martin O'Hora says
    August 7, 2021 at 11:44 am

    Alice was one of the finest persons I have ever met.Taught in the room next to Alice for years. Judy and I both loved Alice and I bet her and Bruce are having a great time.

    • Sandra Murray says
      August 7, 2021 at 9:46 pm

      Hi Marty-
      I hope you and Judy are both well. Mom loved you both, and we also hope she and Dad are having a great time!

  5. REPLY
    Joyce Ort Berninger says
    August 7, 2021 at 4:07 pm

    Alice was a wonderful, kind person. My family had the honor of being friends with her family for many years. My thoughts and prayers go out to the younger generation.

    • Sandra Murray says
      August 7, 2021 at 9:49 pm

      Hi Joyce-
      Thank you so much for your kind words. Mom truly valued her relationship with your family, and we all do as well.

  6. REPLY
    Bill Thomas Everett says
    August 7, 2021 at 8:09 pm

    Alice was as close to sainthood as any mortal could hope to achieve. A top three candidate for one of the best teachers ever in the Hackettstown school system. She will be fondly remembered by her students, coworkers, and school administration. Fortunately she left a blueprint on how to live a life very well lived, truly a person to be emulated. We are all lucky Alice left behind three wonderful children that have that “Alice gene” and benefit all who know the family.

    • Sandra Murray says
      August 7, 2021 at 9:52 pm

      Hi Bill-
      What a wonderful tribute to our Mom and family – we are so thankful for your remembrance, and to have the “Alice gene” we have been blessed.

  7. REPLY
    Paul Edward Wallace says
    August 7, 2021 at 8:18 pm

    Dear Stout Family
    My Wife Robin & I were saddened to read of Mrs. Stout’s Passing, and though we feel the loss of one of the few Teachers who ever believed in my abilities, your pain in this earthly departure of one of Hackettstown’s Finest Educators is beyond compare.
    Mrs. Stout was a treasure and has been, and will be deeply missed.
    We pray our FATHER in Heaven will comfort you all as only HE can through Christ Jesus our LORD.
    May the GOD Bless you all during this time of mourning.
    Rev Paul & Robin Wallace

    • Linda says
      August 7, 2021 at 10:07 pm

      Thank you so much, Paul. One of Mom’s many gifts was making others feel valued. She saw the good and potential in everyone. Thank you for your kind, comforting words.

  8. REPLY
    Linda says
    August 7, 2021 at 10:09 pm

    Thank you so much, Paul. One of Mom’s many gifts was making others feel valued. She saw the good and potential in everyone. Thank you for your kind, comforting words.

  9. REPLY
    Kelley Kietrys Wallace says
    August 8, 2021 at 3:46 pm

    A beautiful person. I remember Mrs Stout as a student in Hackettstown. May she Rest In Peace. Lovely obituary.

  10. REPLY
    Mike Abromitis says
    August 8, 2021 at 5:17 pm

    So sorry to hear, condolences to all the family, especially Bruce, Sandy and Linda.. I have wonderful memories of Mrs. Stout when visiting her son Bruce on 5th Ave, Hackettstown when in middle and high school, she always had a snack ready for us and a quick little joke.

  11. REPLY
    Sandra Murray says
    August 8, 2021 at 6:25 pm

    Thank you, Kelley- we appreciate your remembrance
    and good wishes.

  12. REPLY
    Bruce Stout says
    August 8, 2021 at 9:34 pm

    Thanks Mike. We are both fortunate to have had such wonderful mothers. I was always welcomed at your house with the same warmth and love.

  13. REPLY
    Lynn Bamford Berube says
    August 9, 2021 at 1:55 am

    I had the pleasure of knowing Alice she was a wonderful, happy and caring person. you are in my thoughts always and forever

    • Linda Paquette says
      August 9, 2021 at 11:54 pm

      Thank you, Lynn. Mom so enjoyed you.

  14. REPLY
    John Tuthill says
    August 9, 2021 at 5:51 pm

    Alice was such a sweet person. I remember how she and my grandmother, Arlene, became fast friends at our college graduation. And I have fond memories of her hanging out by the pool with all “the kids” on summer days at the Earth Hollow.

    • Linda Paquette says
      August 9, 2021 at 11:57 pm

      We were just talking about how much Mom loved the Earthhollow Labor Day parties. She loved meeting your grandmother at graduation. Thank you so much for sharing your memories.

  15. REPLY
    Anne Drinon says
    August 10, 2021 at 10:16 am

    Linda, I have so many wonderful memories of your Mother beginning at Woodside School. She would light up a room when she came for a visit. Alice made all of our lives so much brighter. My love to you, Arpy and Alice.

    • Linda Paquette says
      August 10, 2021 at 12:26 pm

      Thank you so much, Anne. Mom always loved a classroom, great teachers like you, and children. Thank you so much for sharing your memories of Mom and for your love.

  16. REPLY
    David M Blanchard says
    August 10, 2021 at 2:22 pm

    Alice was indeed a wonderful lady. she always made my day with a warm smile, and a kind word. part of my heart will always miss her now, but knowing she’s safe in the Lord’s house, is enough for me. God Bless you Alice, they aren’t making them like you anymore!

    • Linda Paquette says
      August 10, 2021 at 10:34 pm

      Thank you, David.❤️

  17. REPLY
    Joe Nitto says
    August 11, 2021 at 9:37 pm

    I always looked up to Alice for directions and suggestions. I loved her way of making me feel so important. She was a great mentor, not only for teaching but for life as well.

    • Linda Saunders Paquette says
      August 12, 2021 at 9:06 am

      Thank you, Joe. Mom always spoke of you. Yes, she had a wonderful way of making other people feel valued. She was a wonderful life mentor for our family, too.

  18. REPLY
    Darryl Applegate says
    August 20, 2021 at 9:28 pm

    What a wonderful lady. Mrs. Stout was my third grade teacher and helped to make that year one of the fondest of my childhood. Many years later, I was so touched by her thoughtfulness when she sent me a very kind letter when my father passed away. I will always appreciate that as well as the wonderful year I spent in her classroom. May she rest in peace and joy.

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